My trans-American bicycle journey
"It was the best of times. It was the worst of times," reads the opening to
Charles Dickens's Great Expectations and it adequately summarizes my ocean to ocean
bicycle trip. However, an even more appropriate opening would be -- "It had its ups.
And it had its downs."
What follows is a short summary of my life's greatest adventure. However, a caveat to the
reader -- as history gives us a perspective on the past, my trip gave me perspective on my
life. The impulse to ride across the country was largely unknown to me at the time. So
what seems simple in retrospect was largely clouded in confusion. And when I finally got a
grasp on things it seemed that the game of life changed on me. However, as I learned --
thus is the nature of life and it should be embraced.
The hardest part of bicycling across the country is in the decision to do rather than in
the doing. Maybe this is best understood by outlining my reasons for leaving. People often
think that I had one reason for leaving. And they readily accept an answer such as,
"I was searching for myself." However, the reasons were many and if anyone
pressed the matter they would get a head full of philosophy as I would ask in a roundabout
way -- "Why do you think I'm doing it?" I believed the answer I sought was
fundamentally ingrained in everyone, and if I couldnąt find it in myself maybe I could
find it in someone else.
Here are a smattering of other reasons: I wanted to leave DC before I got stuck there; I
wanted to prove I could set a goal and accomplish it; the realization that my current path
in life wasn't going the direction I wanted; my ex-girlfriend; my career wasn't all it was
cracked up to be; I wanted to erase the slate; I was angry; a feeling that's hard to
describe (similar to an instinctually sexually drive, but more like an empty discontent)
unsettled my soul; TV; drugs; money; a search for God; another feeling easily described as
unhappiness; I wanted to improve my self-esteem, confidence, general disposition and
malaise; I also wanted to see the country, meet people and get in shape; I wanted to see
what effect being alone would have on me. In addition, there are many selfish, unhealthy
reasons why I did this: I wanted to make people jealous; I wanted to prove myself better
than others; I wanted to hurt every person that ever hurt me; I wanted redemption form the
past regrets of my life. Also, I wanted to exercise until I was exhausted and couldn't
think anymore; I wanted to prevent a mid-life crisis; I didn't want to die thinking of all
the things I haven't done. And, there are many, many more which I can no longer remember.
And so I began, what in retrospect was a vengeful act disguised in a spiritual quest that
became spiritual.
.CONTINUE |
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Scott at the Atlantic
"During the
middle of my trip my reasons had dissolved until there were only two left: myself and God.
These seemed like unanswerable questions and my motivation waned. I couldn't figure out
women much less God. The magnitude of my journey was beginning to overwhelm me.
Scott at the Pacific
Contact
Scott |